If only I wrote a book, #1 seller it would be.

CW: suicide


I have been in prison now going on 14 years. During this time I have been in the hole several times including observation, DS2, DS1, etc. Most of the tickets have been against the staff. I am a disabled veteran with 12 plus years in the military doing top secret jobs, one of which is an atomic demolition expert and assembler of nuclear weapons. I get a disability check each month for my injuries I have inquired during two wars, the Falkland War which I was a technician advisor to NATO and the Grenada War attached to the 75th rangers out of Georgia. I hold 7 belts in martial arts and am an expert marksman and knife fighter.

I have caught my cases fighting with these mental midgets who they got from the Mcdonalds reject pool or the old folks home. Most can’t pour water from a boot without an instruction packet and wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a firefight. I have 8 confirmed kills and 24 unconfirmed kills which include 2 by knife and I want you all out there who want to come to CCI[words missing]? Portage watch out. Let me give you some examples: My mom died in 2005 and my sister notified the institute the very same day, but did the tell me? Nnnnnnnnoooooooo! They didn’t, my sister wrote me again after her long bereavement, because my mom lived with her. I was shocked to hear my mom was dead and it was February, 3 months later. I got on their ass about it and they said they forgot and put me in observation because I was upset; no shit sherlock! Instead of consoling me they put me in the hole for umpteen days. How’s that going to make me feel better?

Let’s get to some idiotic stuff shall we? I have witnessed officers bringing in drugs and food for the inmates, as well as selling them and scarfing them down themselves. Some have been fired of course but who’s the worse crook in here, them or us? Then there’s the officers who sit on their asses all day and do nothing, just draw a paycheck is all. If only I wrote a book, #1 seller it would be.

How about observation? Cold as hell with a smock and no blanket, county jails have them why not here? How about them ratty old blankets and those pillows you got to restuff yourself? Took me 6 months to get a new one! Now I’m not saying all the cops are bad, there are a few good ones. But only 5% are worth a hoot! I won’t mention their names. Now take last week, a C.O. was doing his cell search and I had a container of kool aid mixed up. Well the C.O. thought it was hooch and had it tested. Well it was kool aid, but the mental midget threw it out to makes sure. Hello? I bought that at the canteen, same went for my salt, peanut butter and everything else that they serve during meals that you can get at the canteen.

Oh, don’t get me started on those idiots down in St. Louis! Who puts soda in with potato chips and candy bars? They do, they dont give a rats ass if its destroyed or not they know if we return it it will be 2 more weeks till its rectified and they’ll just do it again. That’s if you get your order right in the first place the C.O.’s spend more time fixing and writing down the forgotten stuff (missing)[remove word] than handing out the canteen; And these are the people who are now taking care of the money sent in to us! Goodluck to you who do this I’m telling you, it’s a cluster fuck. I’ve been to 30 rodeos, 20 circuses, 35 fairs and a buzzard fuck and I haven’t seen anything like it in my life it’s a riot, the guys make fun of the officers all the time. Now, I’m no saint, never was and never will be, but now get this we have went co-ed; that’s right boys, we now have a full fledged female with all the body parts in the right areas and she flaunts it off to guys. Women in men’s prisons sign me up for the women’s prison, will ya!

Oh yeah, I had a friend, his name was Jake Bingham. He killed himself by hanging. Not only a friend, he worked for me and my dad on the outside. His funeral here was a joke and when I wanted to say my say, they rushed me along. There were only 3 people there that went and the rest were staff. The preacher didn’t remember the idiots name, but he’s 5 cans short of a six pack if you know what I mean. Let’s look at his shrink, worthless, says it all right there. I think they fired her because of a lawsuit, wonder why?

Let’s talk about lawsuits shall we? How many have been filed, 100’s. I think even the officers file them against the staff and DOC. I remember one sgt who confiscated all the sports illustrated magazines when Green Bay won the Superbowl and sold them, pocketing the money. There was a big stink here about it. The problem here in all the institutes, and a blind man can see it, is that nobody talks to anybody else. HSU doesn’t talk to the special needs committee, they don’t talk to the doctors, the doctors don’t talk to the nurses, who don’t talk to the unit managers, who don’t talk to the white shirts, who don’t talk to the officers, who don’t talk to the shrinks, who don’t convey their thoughts to anybody else; And they all sit around and drink coffee and shoot the shit and collect their paychecks while Joe Shmuck the inmate cant get let out for his meds because HSU is overworked and understaffed and their all quitting because of the conditions, and the inmates suffers because of it.

So what’s the plan, how do we fix it? Simple, just line us all up and shoot us in the back of the head is what. Simple, costs, oh I’d say 100 bucks for 22 cal. bullets, save the DOC millions and no longer needs all this wire, food, oh don’t say that, food. There’s a good one, I spent 3 months in a POW training camp in germany in 1978 -yeah I’m an old fart, 62 years old- now this food has no taste it’s the same week after week. Now I’m not putting anybody down, your religion is yours, ok fine but don’t rain on my parade will ya? I want meat, I’m no vegan, I’m no muslim, I want chicken, pork, beef, turkey, hell give me a bison it’s good. I’m not hispanic, I’m not jewish, I’m an American who wants good food, now you may like Mexican food or you like veggies, don’t care why not have it like they have in the military? A main meal and a short order line, hotdogs and hamburgers and deli sandwiches. Have you ever looked in the garbage and seen the waste? At least 50% of it goes in the garbage and since some nitwit says we cant pass our food to another table -bright idea NOT!!!!- It goes to waste instead.

Let’s look at meds shall we? The institute here says we cant have tylenol, but sell it in the canteen. CCI is the only institute that this drug is controlled, WHY???? No idea, it has taken up to 1 month to get uncontrolled meds, if you get them. We now have to get our controlled med up at HSU so we have to get all dressed up and wait till our unit is called, no matter the weather, and scurry up there 4 times a day if, and I say if, the suppose to do, NOT!!! And if you can get your non controlled med on time, NOT!!!!!!

We have a guy here who is a diabetic right, his glucose meter thingy was broken and its was days before they fixed it, DAYS!!!! It should have been fixed right away, right, NOT!!!!! Gentlemen of the other prisons, I could go on all day and night but my finger is tired with all this pecking, I’m going to write this long letter if you want to hear more just write me and I will pick out a letter to you ASAP. Well guys it’s goodbye from wire city, nice chatting to you, keep your peckers up and don’t let these bastards get to you, do as I do, to hell with the hole a simple cuff upside the head will do. And now I’m not condoning violence but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and me I’m a lifer, so I’m gonna get the respect I’m due, not because I’m in here, but for the service to this country



The above was published in Issue 5 of Voices from Beyond Wisconsin Prison Gates, published in Summer 2018. The rest of the issue is available here.